Mad cucumbers

I am a vet, simply for your info. I even have a special plate on my door — Veterinary Surgery. But it doesn't necessarily mean the same thing for everybody...

Well… Imagine. You are sitting at your clinic. No one is around when suddenly… a client!

An old lady enters, carrying a glass jar with salted cucumbers (pickles) and asks me to examine them for parasites. Because yesterday she had some guests over and now today there are some creatures that have climbed onto her salted cucumbers. And not even just climbing, but also flying a little. So now she worries that all these creatures will breed inside her, because she is eating these cucmbers during the last three months. And there are still some cucumbers to eat. Can I fix those?

I tried to explain to her, that if something jumps on her cucumbers, so then she really must put the jar's contents into the trash can, I am so sorry dear lady, but no vet including me may do something to fix it. But our lady was persistent and tried to give me that jar so I could remove them, I gently refused to take it. Then she also said that yesterday she had bought a bun with sugar sprinkled on top, but today instead there were some water drops on the bun and the sugar crumbs were hatched and now she has a nest of larvae there! These bakers had used dried worms in place of sugar, she was sure!

I suspected that she probably had this bun somethere hidden in her pockets, so before it made an appearance as well, I kindly ushered her out of the vet clinic with the address of our local hygiene lab, in the hope that they would refer her to human doctors.

I need a psychiatric couch as a branch of my clinic — I have some interesting work for colleagues here!