BOOK FOR SON AND DAUGHTER

Mom sees Peter

NIKOLAI CHRIPKOV

[Год]

What book would I write for my children? It seems that everything that needs to be read to them has already been written. And real writers, smart and talented. And I should (pardon the expression!) with a snout so in Kalashny number? But still, maybe I was unlucky so far, I would like to read another book, and that they are well, for life learned her lessons. Perhaps, such a book there is. But I didn't come across it. And I decided: why not try. Of course, to Korney Chukovsky and Samuel Marshak, I'm as far as the hill for our village to Everest. Ah! It wasn't! So I sat down at the table. And wondered. Benefit of children not yet home.

The first and most important thing I would like for children is how they should protect themselves from all sorts of dangers that await them in life. Forewarned is forearmed. I want my children not to panic. And acted of well-and clearly.

So, in the first part of my book I will tell you what dangers await them and what they should do if they get into such an unpleasant situation. But it should not be in any case dry instructions. About this they will be told in detail in the lessons of life and in the classroom hours at school. I want children to be interested in listening. And what is interesting is remembered well and for a long time. Maybe even for a lifetime. And I called this part of the book so (I apologize for plagiarism, that is, borrowing):

Petya at the crossroads

• 1. DO NOT GO, CHILDREN IN AFRICA WALK!

Do not go, children in Africa walk!

And even you, children, I want say:

Africa is not easy to reach,

Because Africa is very far away.

In addition to this Africa it is necessary to know! —

There are dangerous places where you can not walk.

To let you know what the danger is, children,

I'll tell you a story about what happened to Petya.

Petya is a first-grader. Mom for a year

In school and from schools together with him goes.

Somehow dissatisfied grumble son:

I'm an adult, mother! I want to walk alone.

— No! — said mom. I won't!

You're still a child. Not alone!

Somehow cancelled their lesson in a class.

The jacket in the closet took it on the sly.

"Cool I mother will be able to please!

At least she doesn't have to go to school today."

He's running, skipping, laughing and singing,

Then the birds will psycnet, then the ballot box will kick in.

Here to the intersection of Pete ran.

And at the intersection the traffic light was.

Peter knows for sure: on the green —

Cross the road, but not red.

Petya looked around. Cars to be seen.

Why not cross the road?

Immediately a police officer appeared to them.

— Why break the rules, man?

— Look! On the way there

Nor one machines, — was his the answer.

What do you think the guard told him?

Rules exist to be followed. And there are no exceptions for them.

But the guard took pity Pete. And he could be fined for violation of traffic rules. Or rather not him, but parents because of their money Petya no.

Peter runs further. And then forgot about this unpleasant case.

— Come on, little one, slow down! — he hears.

Petya Stopped. In front of him two boys are big. One smokes, and other sunflower seeds clicks.

— Where are you going? — asked the one that was clicked sunflower seeds and spit the husks on the boot.

— Home!

Home is good! What's your name, jerk?

— Peter Ivanovich Sidorov. Can be simply Peter Ivanovich.

— Listen, Petya! You have money?

— Yes! My mother gave me tea with a bun. And our last class was canceled, and I saved money.

"Then you'll be a great economist," says the one with the cigarette. — By the way, my name is Chisel.

— Is there such a name? — surprised Petya.

The boys looked at each other and laughed.

Here he is. Hey, Petruha! Did you know that all the great economists are doing with the money?

— What?

— Well, did you learn the multiplication table?

Peter nodded.

— Here! And great economists multiply money.

— How is it?

Come here!

Beckoned his boys. They came for garbage containers, put boxes, sat down and invited him.

— Look! — said Kolun. It's maps. Here I am! Here Is The Chisel! But you!

— We are in the city gonna play? — glad Peter.

He often dad played in the town and knew lots and lots of cities

— No! We're going to play point.

— Just one point?

— Not one, but twenty-one. Put the money!

Why? — surprised Petya.

— Put it in! Put it in!

Petya put it.

— Here is now you play, and have you will already not twenty-rubles, and more. And then you play again, and you'll have more money. And after you play a few times, you'll be a billionaire.

— What are you modeling, Chisel? How a billionaire? A trillionaire!

Wow!

Petya's breath caught in his chest.

— Will you teach me how to play this magic game?

— Of course! We after all good and noble!

And they started playing cards. Petya liked it.

— Nothing can be done, Patan — sadly said Chisel. His eyes were filled with tears. You're unlucky. You lost. That's why we're taking your money. Although we do not want to do so. Don't worry! When you have money again, you come here! We'll always be happy to see you. Next time, you'll be a trillionaire.

Wait, Chisel! You can see his backpack! And almost new! Cool backpack!

— Totally! the Chisel cried excitedly. Okay, Petyan! Let's do this! We'll meet you halfway. The people we are compassionate! So be it! Give you a chance to be a trillionaire.

— I have no money, ' said Peter.

— Yes! You're broke! Sorry! We will regret you after all! Here are staking twenty rubles! We tear them from their hearts! You play them! Definitely!

Petya was delighted and clapped his hands.

— Let's deal the cards!

— Well, you put your backpack on the line!

Cat house

I think it is not necessary to continue to tell what happened. And lesson from this, children, you will learn!

How many more asserted that matches to children not a toy, but still playful pen and are drawn to box or lighter. And some are ready to spend all pocket money for fires, and then to set fire to them Yes to scatter. So the second Chapter of my book will be a story about the fire, why occur.

Cat jumped out, eyes bulged out

2. WHY DID THE CAT HOUSE BURN DOWN?

TILI-TILI-TILIBOM!

HAS LIGHTED UP KOSHKIN THE HOUSE.

At the moment burned to the ground.

Where was the house, one ash.

Well, that all were saved,

Only slightly burned.

Here is and festive lunch!

Cries cat. Not home.

From tanks cars

The coals with water poured.

Here are the cars,

Out strict men.

And for them very quickly

Rolled up journalists,

Here and there they scurry,

Everywhere they put their nose.

— Okay! the inspector said.

— Not one, but a whole range

There are reasons for that. And we now

Let us enlighten you in detail.

— There are Adjusters, you can see the vodka

Drinking, making wiring.

Put some on.

Oh, what a mess this is!

The circuit! From a spark,

Like paper sheets,

The wires caught fire.

In cat's house came the trouble.

— Who put this oven down?

Cut off his hands!

Wooden wall.

Near the stove.

Not cleaned the chimney.

Soot five hundred kilos.

It's like dynamite.,

What up time is.

— And here is a heart friend

Kitty included iron.

He was Ironing his suit.

Here name is his. Left

He iron and escaped.

And the suit flared.

— A cat here in the pantry kids

With juice ate sweets.

Took boxes of matches.

Strike. Went to smoke.

And they are in the yard to run,

To kick the ball.

— This is where the bear smoked.,

He didn't put out cigarette butts.

The debris was smoldering and the wind

From him, a fire kindled,

On wall crawled and in a moment

The Woodman lit up.

— The kitchen gas was burning.

On the burner soup was boiling.

Ran away, the fire went out.

Accumulated in the kitchen gas.

Someone struck a match-explosion!

Well, remained alive.

— A goat in the garden

Burned in windy weather

Pile of dry grass

And went the fire — alas! —

On buildings, in yards.

Near the houses do not burn fires!

— We, of course, pity a cat.

We will break into a flat cake,

But build cat house!

We'll be all right in it.

— That the Board of elementary:

Need to rules a fire

Phone the fire brigade

Security guard

And to all of them.

Anything that can burn will light up someday.

Old truth

SCHOOL OF FAIRY TALE CHARACTERS

A COLLECTION OF FAIRY TALES

• THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER

Here's the first of September! Children, festively dressed, after the solemn line go for his class teacher in the classroom. For gateway with the name Board "1 class" begins the first for first-graders lesson. The teacher in a strict black suit and — for some reason-in a hat looked around the class and said:

— Well, children! Let's meet! I'm your teacher My name is Maria vanna Shapoklyak. And this is my faithful friend, whom I never part with, Lariska the rat.

Lariska squeaked merrily and again began to chew on the leg of the teacher's table.

— And now, children, each of you calls your name and says a few words about yourself.

In the front row immediately jumped to the boy in the striped cap.

I'm Pinocchio. I'm very curious. I stick my long nose in everything. I'm a wonderful swimmer. I won't drown even in the rough sea. And besides, I'm a great gardener: grow money tree.

— When you grow it, be sure to call me to harvest-said the teacher.

— Great! Then tell your grandmother to come to school tomorrow. Certainly! What's that? Boy! Why is there a fan on your back? You that living on the principle of: all its burdens with a?

— It's not a fan, Maria bath! It's propeller. Like a helicopter. I'm Carlson. Haven't you heard anything about me? I'm known all over the world.

— I've heard a lot about you. But nothing good. They say that you fly into other people's apartments in the window and eat all the buns and jam. And yet… what you are giving to mental disorders good people, working in attics during the day. Nevermind! I'll beat the bad manners out of you. Believe me, friends, I am the best knocker of bad manners.

— I'm Winnie The Pooh! the fatty cried out cheerfully. — I love to go in the morning to visit, scratch in the back of my head, and I love honey.

The teacher curled a good-natured smile and hissed kindly:

— Now you have to love in the morning to go to school, often to wash with alkaline soap, so as not scratched, and porridge in our dining room. And now you, little girl! By the way, why are you wearing a hat?

— Because I'm red Riding hood. What can I say about myself? That I love nature very much. Often walk on the forest one and meet with my forest friends. I also love my grandmother very much.

— So you have a grandmother?

— Certainly.

— I hope that she receives a pension and madly in love with their only granddaughter?

I'm Cheburashka. I know how to clap my ears, hang noodles on them, and stand on my ears.

Well, I have, if you're going to stand on the ears, it is only in the corner.

Shapoklyak nodded to the next disciple, urging him to introduce himself.

— Now you! How are you?

2. SCHOOL, WHERE EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Having got acquainted with pupils, Shapoklyak began to tell about school. She had a natural teacher's voice.

— Our school is wonderful, unique, unique and unique. Nowhere will you find such a school, in the entire Universe. And our school is remarkable first of all because I work here, the best teacher. The most wonderful teacher of all time. Such as I, was not, is not and will not be. And, indeed, I say, you have had the good fortune to see. Same, guys? And next to me is always my favorite Lariska, which you also all have already fallen in love, so as not to have tea in her soul. Woo-hoo-hoo! My doll! Come to me! I can see that you miss me!

Shapoklyak Lariska raised and kissed her nose. Larissa winced and sneezed. Then she dug her sharp teeth into her palm. Shapoklyak winced.

— Well, biting, Larisochka, I do not. Although, as you can still Express your love to me, my sweetheart? And now, kids, I'll tell you a little bit about our amazing unique school. What is it amazing? All schools are based on the principle IMPOSSIBLE. You can't, you can't, you can't do anything. You can't miss class. Can't be late. It is impossible to indulge in the classroom. You can't shout loudly. No way! No way! No way! Our school is a school where everything is POSSIBLE. And not only CAN be, I would added still and NEED. You can and should love your teacher and make her gifts as often as possible. Desirable every day on several times. You can bring her parental money and jewelry for eternal preservation. Believe me, she never loses anything. You can work, of course, selflessly on the repair of schools, visual AIDS and equipment. You can sit as quiet as a mouse and not disturb the teacher to attend to their personal matters. You can share with me and adored by all Lariska breakfasts brought from home. This will help you keep a slim figure. You can… you can… you can. You can all what I said, what you can. That's what an amazing, I would say, exclusive school we have. Do you understand, children? Except for the word " exclusive."

— Yes! — unanimously answered the kids. — You're a very good teacher. And explained everything clearly.

— Try would only not understand! — Milo grinned Gibus and gently stroked the whip that hung next to the Board. — What you have me all teachable! Well, once you understand, then we move on to the next step, which is called...So! Do not get distracted! If someone is distracted, Lariska will bite him.

JOURNEY TO THE MAGICAL LAND, OR IN ANY CASE

— The children! Turn your clueless, sawdust-filled, bullshit pretty heads back! What you saw?

There's a fireplace on the back wall like Papa Carlo's.

— True, long-nosed freak… So, my dear negotaite and negodoica! In no case do not even try and do not think about it, cut it on your short and long noses! — to go where the entrance is closed with this large piece of paper with a badly namelevannym hearth, which, of course, drew the worst artist in the world. For if you do that, and you never do that, you'll get in the… Oh! I'm not allowed to tell you where you're going. This is the greatest mystery. There, behind this piece of paper, you will see this… But I am strictly forbidden to say what you will see. The one who will visit there, will receive indelible impressions for all life. But I'm not going to say what it is spent. And now, kids, Larissa and I are going to leave you for a while. My colleagues and I need to discuss very important issues. Sit quietly and in any case do not even try to approach the back wall. No way! For it is fraught with incredibly new discoveries and vivid impressions.

No sooner had the Gibus with my lovely girlfriend to get out of the class as everyone rushed to the fire. And everyone tried to reach the first, pushing the rest.

What's that? As I love all mysterious! I'll just die if I don't know what it is.

— I'm gonna die of curiosity, too. But I don't want to die of curiosity. So I have to satisfy him.

— Well, what are we standing? After all, she will return now and then we will not know what is behind this hearth. What a crowd! We must act! Quickly and decisively, has not yet returned our lovely teacher.

— One second! — cried Pinocchio. — I have a great tool for piercing the thickest paper. And most importantly, he is always with me. I never part with him.

Then Pinocchio with his long pointed nose punched a piece of drawing paper with a painted fireplace. All in turn began to look into the hole left by his nose. But they are waiting for a complete disappointment. They didn't see anything. It was dark. Maybe there was something, but how can you see it?

— Wait a minute! Yes, do not crowd you! You're impatient. Miss the best mysterious Explorer.

Winnie the Pooh pushed everyone to the side. He clawed at the drawing paper and tore it apart. In tatters. When the teacher returns, she will immediately notice it. But now no one thought about it.

Go, friends! Follow me! — said Winnie the Pooh. — I have to let you in on the secret.

First-graders stepped over the torn drawing Board and saw a completely empty room in front of them.

But she did not quite!

— Wait, dear friends! — there was a voice from somewhere above, surprisingly similar to the voice of their teacher. — Now you will find yourself in a magical land where you expect a variety of miracles and adventures. But in order to get to this country, you need a pass.

— What pass?

— A perfectly simple pass. They can be a small, completely unnecessary piece of paper, which is popularly called for some reason "one hundred rubles". Oh, I don't like that name! Take this piece of paper out of the pockets of your pants and put it in this box. Do you all see this box? After that, you will immediately find yourself in a magical land. Oh, what a magical land! To cross the threshold and enter the school, the most magical in the world, you will need such a little, such a trifle that it is even a shame to talk about it. Here under this threshold you need to put two small pieces of paper. And maybe it will not be paper, and metal circles. The main thing is that the amount was equal to two hundred rubles.

— I have a hundred rubles! — cried Pinocchio. — Papa Carlo gave them to me to buy the primer. But in the magical land of I can get free magic primer!

Okay, guys! Throw in! — Pinocchio commanded. He was clearly becoming an informal leader. — Two hundred rubles-not money. But beyond that threshold is a magical land.

— Well, not money, is upset Winnie-the-Pooh. — Only today I'll be without a bun.

— And I do not appreciate ice-cream, although I have a birthday today — sadly said the crocodile.

Wait, Cheburashka! — exclaimed crocodile Gene. — We with you sat yesterday on a bench and sang: "Let run clumsily", the song devoted to your birthday.

— That's right, Gena, because I don't know when my birthday is. And I have to celebrate it every day.

Pinocchio dropped the hundred dollar bill in the box. Finally, the necessary amount was collected and shoved under the threshold. Immediately the doors parted, the guys with a sinking heart crossed the threshold and found themselves in a completely empty room. But they did not have time to be disappointed, because immediately there was a familiar voice:

— I congratulate you, dear friends! My dears! Well, finally the miracle happened. You have crossed the threshold and entered the magical land. Yes, as long as you don't see any miracles and you don't see them if you're greedy. And that around you began to boil, the magic life began to boil, each of you needs to leave something in a corner of this room. Well, it's something that's of great value to you.

— Nu, here is finally the last test! — joyfully exclaimed Pinocchio and threw it in the corner of your cap.

Soon a corner was overwhelmed with clothes, toys, books, backpacks and many other things that could not be seen under a pile of these things. Immediately a curtain rose in front of them and… a completely empty room appeared in front of them. But no one had time to be indignant, because the same voice sounded:

— Kids! Sweet candy! Hehe! Magic land requires the latest victim. Well, you can stay in socks, panties. It is not forbidden! And everything else… why do you Need it in the magical land? So we put everything neat pile on the chair.

Soon, everyone was standing in shorts. The bolt clacked, the heavy door creaked and disappeared.…

Here, kids! Finally you're in a magical land. With what I sincerely congratulate you!

Before them stood their class teacher. Lariska at this time carefully gnawed the sole of someone's shoes. She did it very well.

— Yes! Babies! Don't be surprised! Magic country — this is your class, where you have to spend a few unforgettable years. Here with you and around you every day will be miracles. You will go on a journey through the stormy ocean of knowledge, where you will expect a storm, shoals and shipwrecks. Well, now, my dear travellers, take your seats, and we will continue our lesson, which was so miraculously interrupted.

The children sat at their desks.

And here's what… today is the first of September. Did you remember that? On the streets in the summer heat. Run to the house in panties. All you will be on the athletes. Festive clothes you will not need any more, because tomorrow will begin working days. Good luck, workers!

Four

CLAY MAN

But then the classroom door swung open noisily and entered Karabas-Barabas with his long whip. Gibus looked sternly at the children and snarled:

"You have to get up when someone else enters the classroom, you little scoundrels!"

— I'm a stranger, dear Gibus? I am the headmaster of this school, " said Karabas — Barabas. Don't forget! Here, take the new guy!

From-for his backs looked out a new disciple. Karabas-Barabas turned and left, slamming the door.

The new guy was short. He's a tight little guy with round cheeks. Dressed he was in black shorts, black knee socks and black shoes. But his shirt was white. And there's a red tie around his neck. But it was a stilted, motionless and shone, as if it was varnished. And his face was also motionless. Look at one point, and her lips tightly compressed. Lariska immediately ran up to him, sniffed disappointedly and returned to nedovrsena Shoe.

— Tell me, dear boy! What does one call you? asked Gibus, suspiciously inspecting the newcomer.

"Glinka," he said, without even opening his lips. Not a muscle twitched on his face.

— How? Are you a descendant of the great Russian composer, the Creator of the national Opera Mikhail Glinka? It can't be!

— No! I Glinka, because I'm a clay man, but no Mikhail Glinka, I do not know.

There it is! Well, well! Sit down, Glinka, over there next to Thumbelina.

Glinka went to his place.

— A can be so not rattle! — exclaimed the Gibus.

— No! No way! Because I'm made of clay. And clay, let it be known, very hard knocks.

3. FOREST SCHOOL. MATH LESSON

Instead of calling the school used a live cat. When it was time for a change or lesson, the red cat Vaska clamped tail in the door. He screamed so heart-rending and shrill that the most retarded students flew into the classroom or from the class. However, there have been critics who called himself green. They began to organize under the Windows of the school rallies under a great lurid poster of the "Doors off the tail of the cat Vaska!»

And as they explained to the school administration, and the cat Vaska, that the tail is clamped in the door slightly, and only slightly, one might even say that almost no gagging, and he yells good mate not from pain, but from a sense of duty to the younger generation, green didn't believe and continued their meetings.

Maths in the senior class is a donkey. Yes! Same — Eeyore. With a look full of world sorrow, he traces the lamb's faces and asks with a heavy sigh:

— What are we studying there? Ah!

— Count to ten — meets the overgrown sheep, which everyone in the class sat from three to seven years. So he had already managed to marry and have children and grandchildren. And so he set himself a high and excellent goal: the shock rate of only four years to finish the final class and with a clear conscience to go on a well-deserved vacation.

— Actually, — said Eeyore, although I am a profession and chose teaching mathematics, the math I can not stand. And I love the literature, I know lots and lots of poems. Listen to this!

Grass turns green.

The sun shines.

Swallow with spring

In a shade to us flies.

Large tears the size of ranetka loudly drummed on the floor. Ia-Ia gets a piece of Terry blankets, which wash the blackboard, and long wipes wet face.

— I wonder still— I hear someone's loud voice. — Why is there a swallow in the hay? She's not a cow and not a sheep, and hay not eat.

Eeyore opens his mouth, stares at the class, eyes wide and lost in thought, scratching a hoof between his ears.

"Indeed," he says, " I did not think about it. Although these poems came to know and love throughout his poetry donkey nature is still twelve years ago. I even remember what month it was. But why the swallow in the hay? Mmm! This is not trigonometry with stereometry! Here about th what the mind need!

— A can be, swallow slept over in the hay? In the spring-the nights are still cold — suggested excellence Denis.

— Hm! Interesting version!

E-Ia leapt from the teacher's chair and walked rapidly back and forth along the blackboard.

— Let's say that you, Denis, right. But here we are… when we get up from sleep, the first thing we do is run to wash. Why didn't the swallow do it?

Sheep, and with them deeply thought to the bell, that is, to the cat howling. It is good that today a couple of mathematics, and therefore can be another lesson to devote to swallow.

— I think that the swallow did not have time to wash, — thinks the RAM Sasha. — The owner came with a pitchfork to collect hay to the cow, and the swallow had to take away the wings as quickly as possible.

— Well, well! This version has a right to exist, ' said Eeyore.

He is pleased with the poetic success of his wards. Even if only six or seven rams from the senior class will be Pushkin and Yesenin, he will believe that not in vain lived a life.

Eeyore goes to the window and stares at the white rubbish bin, designed to around it threw out the garbage and poured the wash. And then:

— You know, a real poet, but a direct sense, there is always the underlying subtext. A real poet should be a philosopher. Do you understand me, sheep?

Sheep nod and think again for a long time.

— You can give me a taste.

This pulling eaio lamb Irka.

— Please! Please!

— I think that hay is a symbol of the past summer, youth, freshness of feelings. All behind, in the past, withered, so to speak. Yes! Spring! But the signs are already old. The spring is causing it not the adrenaline rush, and sad memories of lost youth and love.

— What a strikingly subtle and profound observation!

Ia-Ia is delighted, he stomps his hooves with excitement. The floor and ceiling are shaking like a seven-point earthquake. And pieces of plaster fall on the heads of sheep. But they are so passionate about poetry that such trifles just do not pay attention.

— And there's a river in France-the Seine. It still Paris is — notice at the back Desk.

— What about the river and Paris?

I do not know. But poetic thought is unpredictable. Have poet can be born the most unexpected associations.

That's right! It is! — agrees Ia-Ia. — I once on his forehead slapped such a hefty fly. And for some reason I thought about bananas with orange juice.

To the deepest regret of the students and teachers heard a long-drawn howl of the cat.

— Well! Always so! Eeyore's spreading her ears. — Just touch the secrets of the universe, like this nasty cat… Write down, please, the task at home. By the next lesson, learn the score to ten.

For seven consecutive years in each lesson Eeyore asks the house to count to ten. Well, and what of the fact that his disciples have not learned this otherwise commonplace to count to ten. But, as they subtly feeling poetry. And this is worse than any mathematics. And to tell the truth, and he is Eeyore not very good at count to ten.

At recess Eeyore is in a teacher's room, bubonja yourself:

— Yet does not require the poet to sacred sacrifice to Apollo…

How lovely! What a syllable! What flight of thought! This is not a one — two — three! Wipe your nose!